Last year around this time, I was in Houston with no clue about my future. I spent the New Years Eve with my mentor, a guitar, and about 15 strangers in a random downtown apartment. We sang and prayed our way out of 2014. I remember asking God to change me, and make 2015 the year that changed everything!
Crazy how much we learn about ourselves in the course of a year. I realized what I wanted were gifts–like money and a girlfriend–to make me feel safe. I didn’t want change, only comfort, two contradictory ideas.
God, in His never ending love, gave me what I needed, not what I asked for.
Therefore, 2015 was a boot camp. I was hit with a bag of bricks with labels such as sadness, anger, and confusion. I learned the depths of brokenness and the heights of my pride. All I asked was for Him to change me, in exchange He gave me hell!
The fire was refining, though. And my wrestling with God led me to one thing: Himself. Between weary days and sleepless nights, anxiety and frustration, mistakes and failures, I can say He certainly granted my request for change.
Life is filled with inevitable messes, plan altering blockades, and junk no one can truly prepare for. It’s scary. You may lose an arm or leg, along with your sanity. Seasons seem like decades of fighting sinful desires and reminding yourself of the Gospel. The course is daunting; especially when I forget the truth about my life.
Our problems will continue to exist no matter the calendar year. Some years may be lighter or more challenging than others. How can it be well when everything’s not okay? I’ve never felt so exhausted.
And I’ve never felt the Lord carry me like this before.
Jesus wants it all– my hopes, dreams, future, and whatever else occupies my daydreams. Not because He doesn’t care, but He cares enough to replace them with His on a solid foundation.[1] He understands my desire to be known, therefore, He left His throne for me. He knows I long to be loved so, He had nails hammered in His wrists to prove it. He knows my soul is weak–so He died and rose to secure it in the Father’s hands as His–hands nothing will prevail against–my soul is well. He remains faithful.[2]
And because of His faithfulness, He will never leave me the same. He does whatever it takes to set my gaze on Him as the ultimate comforter–no matter the season. He will bring storms my way just to bring me back to His feet. My security isn’t found in the potential opportunities this new year can bring, but only in running to something profoundly glorious–Christ.[3]
2015 was hard for some of us. We’ve lost some sort of false hopes or dreams and we have gained more Jesus. Change is rough, but He remains our greatest hope. With Him, we can enter 2016 confident to run this race, because He holds our hearts completely. He’s constant. Why not put my hope in Him alone?
“Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say
It is well with my Soul”[4]
What are you demanding Jesus this new year? I demanded comfort, and He gave me more of Himself. The many things we place our security in usually fails us, but placing our hope in Him we can rest assured, even in the midst of brokenness, that it is well with our soul.
[1] And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” Hebrews 12:5-6
[2] if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13
[3] Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
[4] Horatio G. Spafford, It Is Well With My Soul
mitchjay 